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Remember Your Strength

Remember Your Strength: Generational Traumas I was asked to write about a moment of inner strength. For me, I cannot say that I can easily pinpoint just one moment. It seems I am always having moments of need to pull from my inner strength.  The daily fight of living with the generational traumas that have largely shaped the woman I am is not an easy task. It is a continuous press to challenge what these traumas have told me about who I am, what I could be and what I would never be. It is a daily press to be the woman I strive to be despite these traumas. It is a fight to be the healed version of me, the forgiving version of me, the authentic unapologetic version of me. A woman striving to break the chains of the bondage that these traumas have been for me in my journey.  There were chains that tried to stagnate my progress. The reminders of the trauma and the responsibility that comes with the charge of being a Super Woman in the face of it all can be a huge weight to bare. In the mid
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If Only I Could

If Only I Could   If I could allow myself to believe.   I would believe in a happy ending.  I would believe I could exist with someone in a space of peace.  That I would find someone who makes me feel seen, heard and protected.   I would believe things can be loving, drama free and flow naturally.    If I could believe.   If I had the experience of being in a space with someone who gives me room to be me. Who supports, encourages me and loves me without judgement.  Someone who would be mindful of my heart and loyal in their conduct.  Then maybe I could believe.    If only I could believe that there may be someone who frees me of my doubts and skepticism.  Who I can be at “rest” with.  Who makes me not want to run. Who is patient enough to work through the walls I have built. Who I can love without fear and reservation.  Who makes it easy to enjoy this journey.    If only I could.   If only. 
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I pray you never wonder what you need to fix.

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  I pray you never wonder what you need to fix.   The other day, I came across a post that said “ I pray my daughter never wonders what she has to fix for a man to love her”. It made me reflect on an encounter I had this summer with my Ex-Husband. If I had to describe what I felt most it would be acceptance and peace.   It was a similar scenario albeit a terrible situation for our daughter.   Seeing him in person for the first time since 2019, finally had no effect on me.   He was a person I shared children with. The life we shared together, now seemed to be irrelevant. The old longing for him to change has long since subsided. I saw through him.   I focused on maintaining my calm and on the matter that brought us together. Our child’s crisis. In this moment, nothing was more important than to show up for her. Be present and supportive and to remove myself from the situation.   This was no easy task with what seemed like a determination to trigger me, or was it being in a space with a
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Hey 50!

  February 15, 2023   “Hey 50”!   Hey there 50! Something tells me you didn’t come to play. This recent shift in the next phase of my journey has been eye opening. 50 is coming in differently.  50 has some things to say.   Happy Birthday! I had a day of reflection. I am extremely thankful for where the journey finds me standing on this Born Day. I acknowledge some of the things that were missing in me while along this journey would be gained along the journey. These things however would need to come with some maturity and wisdom. I have survived many things I, and some others thought would take me out.     Hey Journey! Now, I am walking in the strength of experience and growth. I trust the Creator and know my steps are ordered. I know God is intentional with me and will equip me with whatever I need along this journey.  Time to buckle up for the shift.   Hello Love! I am thankful for genuine people in my life. Blessed for the ones who encourage the “in progress” me. I appreciate the pe
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This Is What Happens When You Have Love

  This Is What Happens When You Have Love So often in the past, I would find myself sad around my birthday. Having a birthday the day after Valentine’s day and finding myself missing companionship has put a cloud over my birthday for years.   Each year, my friends have made that cloud go away. My friends reminded me that love has many avenues in which to reach you. It may not be in the companionship you seek, but you can be blessed with a circle of friends who remind you that someone out there is thinking of you, loves you and wants you to be happy. Someone wants you to know that you matter to them and that you deserve to have people you can lean on.   You will have people who  support you and people who believe in you. You will need people who pray for you and people who want Gods best for you.   I was talking to my Big Sister Rev. Nat about some things and she said “This is what happens when you have love”. I have been blessed with people in my life who I can lean on. People I can be
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One Year Ago

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  One Year Ago   It’s been one year since my Book Launch for “Life Lessons: Journey to My Dopeness”.  I have had the opportunity to have some speaking opportunities and was a participant in a Book Tour for my organization. I have had wonderful opportunities to discuss my journey and encourage other women to walk their paths and embrace what knowledge we gain along the journey.   One of the key thoughts I have is the importance of embracing the journey, learning from the journey and growing through the journey. I have grown in a year. The launch was a rebirth for me, it was 6 months to the day past my birthday on February 15 th .  In this past year, I have had some ups and some downs, but I have been steadfast on my journey to protecting my peace and enjoying life as it is.   I find myself more comfortable in who I am. No matter what space I am in I continue to embrace the value of self-love. I find solace in being happy with who I am. As my journey continues, I will be comm
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Choose Better Over Bitter

 Choose Better Over Bitter   A bitter woman says “all men are the same” A wise woman decides to stop choosing the same kind of men”.   I understand the “bitter” woman mentality. I have given chances, acquiesced, compromised and overlooked. I have been patient and tried not to trip. I have stifled my feelings and suppressed my voice because I didn’t want to be a “bitter” woman. But it gets hard. Hard to overlook your nonchalant attitude, your I should be thankful you gave me time mentality. I have simply had enough. And before I become that bitter woman you have already tried to frame me as, I will protect my own value and walk away, wish you well and know that even being alone is better than being treated like I have no value. I won’t allow you to treat me like my willingness to meet you where you are made me compromise and you see it as a weakness you could abuse. I am not your pick me up toy. I am a prize! Sadly, one you will never appreciate the value of, because you are con
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