Life's Lessons with Jai

Sometimes you just wanna quit!  Ever get to the point when numbness takes over? When things perpetually happen and you get so numb from fighting to be strong that you just feel numb? You keep trying to feel something. Believe in something but occurrence after occurrence happens and you just feel like you stop wanting to feel. This isn’t a suicidal I don’t want to live anymore feeling. It’s a blah tired of feeling and being phased feeling. Then that next moment happens and you decide to try one more time. To care, to believe, to wish you could try, to you wanna try one more time.  In that moment you make a decision that you are discomforted by the numbness. The you that believes is still in there fighting to get out.  It’s easy to give up but so much sweeter in the end when you keep believing and keep trying. There will be many things that will happen in life that we question,wrestle with and agonize over. There are also things that we need to get us to the next moment of belief; pas

Fools Rush In In the process of my separation and divorce, I must admit I publicly dated too early. I like so many others fell victim to the draw of over posting my every relationship move on social media. It wasn’t about likes for me but I honestly wanted the people who cared about me to see that I was moving on. I was TRYING to be happy. In my mind, I thought that’s what happy people did and what happiness looked like. Two very socially public post divorce failed relationships later, I now realize how that was such a critical mistake for several reasons. I never considered what effects it had on my daughters and for that, to them I apologize. I never gave myself time to grieve my divorce. I was never honest that I didn’t even want a divorce. I just wanted things to not be how they were. I was trying to prove a point and was failing miserably. It didn’t help that my ex and I still worked together years after our divorce and we still acted as if we were married; talk about co

More than “Me Too” One of the hardest things to deal with is knowing someone has harmed your child and there is not much you can do to change it. You can’t take away their pain and in some cases the perpetrator lives a carefree life not having to make amends for what they have done and there is no explanation or justification that can be offered that will make sense.   An even harder issue is when the person who has harmed you or your child is a family member you should be able to trust. In too many families abuse is often swept under the rug or seen as a “family problem” one that gets ignored because the reality of facing it is seems to be more embarrassing for the members of the family and what it means to outsiders then the more important precedence of protecting the victim and ensuring the victim gets the help and healing they need. What makes the privacy of the potential scandal/blight on a family’s reputation more important than the victim?   Why do we

Discovering My Truth. Sometimes having difficult conversations can be tough. Sometimes those are conversations a person must have with themselves. Rejection is never easy to take or give, if you are a good person. I believe in being honest about how you feel. Why is honesty hard for people to swallow? Hard to dish out.   Even when a person asks for honesty and stand by our ability to handle it, once faced with it, we can’t always deal with it like we thought.   A person’s silence can be perceived in many ways, as rejection, opposition, or possibly lack of concern. It can also be a sign of a coward. It can be confusion of where a person is emotionally, or the persons inability to communicate.   It is a silence that if simply voiced in honesty, a person could gain the perspective they need and can then use the clarification to grow from or continue to deny that honesty and stay stifled in not willing to hear what is being spoken or unspoken.   I was taught early on, I w