YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO
CHOOSE
In my pursuit to date I notice
that there is often a double standard when a woman wants to explore her
options. Men can tell you upfront they are not looking for a relationship. They
can have a fear of commitment and as women we are supposed to accept it.
Because they’ve expressed some interest in you, they perceive we will take a
number and get in line with the other women who are vying for their
attention. We as women are supposed to be
okay with him choosing to engage us when it fits for him, getting ghosted with
no explanation and expected to be okay with sharing them with other women.
Courting is damn near obsolete
and we are expected to think Netflix and Chill is an appropriate date. After
all, at least he’s giving you some time.
We are supposed to be okay with texts not returned for days even though
its been on read since shortly after being sent. We are supposed to be okay with “I just don’t
like to text” Or I’m too busy to respond to you but not too busy to be on social
media posting all day. After all, he has the right to want to engage when and
who he wants to and does not want to. He
has the right to be free to date other women because he’s never promised you
anything, and you knew what it was from the beginning. And guess what he’s
right!
Just like I have the right to
place myself in the same leveling position. I have the right to want to be
pursued and not acquiesce anyone who appears to have their short attention span
signaled on me. Your wanting me doesn’t mean I have to want you even if no one
else is checking for me. As a matter of fact, I enjoy my own company. If
nothing being single has taught me is to love on me even if there is no Mr.
Right to do it for me. I can still want
what I want. I have the right to hold out for chivalry if it’s what I believe
in. Somewhere it still exists. Just like
you believe there is an imbalanced ratio between women and men so I should be
grateful anyone is looking, I believe there is still someone out there who
knows how to treat a woman and wants a monogamous grounded, and fulfilling
relationship. Even if for now it means ME treating ME the way I want until
then.
I have the right to ignore a bull
shit message that’s probably been practiced on several women and your crap shooting
hoping today is the day you’ll catch me slipping. Yes, we all know about the
generic GM Queen message you send out every morning to your text log. Hell,
some of us have our own “Hey King” text logs. Sistas are supporting each other
and encouraging each other to keep believing and if nothing else, love
ourselves. We are used to putting BS on
ignore. We are finding our strength and beauty and not hoping the streamline of
affirmation has to come from men. We are more than just cuffing season
hopefuls.
We are not cold hearted for
setting standards and holding you to them.
We are not just “having our cake and eating it too” because we choose to
date and not settle. We can be upfront
about our needs even if its just getting an itch scratched. We are not ashamed
to say that size does matter. Not every time we get a good piece do we think
its attached to commitment. At times it just is what it is, a good piece to
help us over the hump. Just because you
are offering a good piece doesn’t make you a good mate. Don’t be upset when we
recognize that’s your greatest asset and take it for what it’s worth. I have the right to explore what is going to
bring me peace or just be a piece.
Pardon me for thinking what I did
with my life was actually my choice. Excuse me for putting myself and my
happiness above what you think I should want and how I am supposed to be while
I wait for the right man to come. Didn’t
know I had to settle on you just because you were nice and put in some “time”. Didn’t know my confidence in my sexuality
needed to be stifled because it makes you uncomfortable. Not every woman who is
confident in what she brings behind closed doors is loose. We are simply aware
of what we want even when it comes to that. No I don’t have to settle for your mediocre
bedroom skills. My expression of how whack you are doesn’t make me abrasive it
makes me honest.
I am happy about making my needs
a priority. I don’t feel bad about cutting off ties with things or people that
stress me. I am okay with some alone time
if it means not compromising what I need. I am not apologizing for getting what
I need when I need it. So if you see
your text on read and I haven’t responded, know I am busy making sure my needs
are met and that I am doing what I need to do for me to be happy. You have the right to want what you want and
so do I!
Love it! Thanks we do have a right to choose and we don't have to apologize for exercising it✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽
ReplyDeletePerfectly written! And you're right. We do not need to settle. Absolutely not.
ReplyDelete