Deep in my feelings,
When “Feelings, so deep in my feelings. No this ain’t really like me. Can’t control my anxiety” Makes you feel like you’re touchin’ the ceiling; when you’re with them you can’t breathe and they do something to you; then you find yourself deep in thought and realize you just might be trip trip trippin’. That becomes the moment you take time out and ask yourself what does this mean to you. Are these legitimate feelings? Are they temporary feelings needed for the moment or are you just lonely and the possibility of any attention is better than none? Are these feelings you’re feeling based on a physical, emotional , spiritual and intellectual attraction. Are they feelings that make you wanna be open? Or are you honestly tired and lack trust in believing in these feelings and realize these just might simply be words to a good song.
What happens when the feelings aren’t mutual? Maybe you or they aren’t in the mindset to want to be deep on any level with anyone. What happens when it’s just a good song that makes you feel something in the moment? What happens when you can’t reciprocate another’s feelings?
I find myself empathizing too much which makes me stay in situations longer than I want based on fear of not wanting to be the bad person. I haven’t mastered ghosting well and when I’m honest I tend to hurt people’s feelings. There are also times when I get tired of being single. I am trying to make better choices for me but I consistently find myself wanting to just say never mind and stay out of this dating game. I feel like benching myself this cuffing season. I’m too old for games, been through too much for BS and grown enough to handle the truth and make decisions based off that.
The last thing I have time for is to be trippin over feelings that won’t even make it pass a season. I’m still a believer in wanting what you want and knowing it’s coming your way. Compromising won’t bring full happiness and the give and take may be more than you’re ready to settle for or sacrifice. In these living your best life times your best life right now may mean what is bringing you happiness in this right now? What is bringing you peace and what is getting you through the moments. It’s okay to be honest. It’s okay to not have reciprocated feelings. It’s okay to catch feelings as long as they don’t cause you pain. Even if you get hurt there was a lesson to learn. Take the time to experience and feel. Take a time out if you need to. Do whatever you need to do to be okay with you. And when you find yourself caught up in your feelings decide which ride you want to take and hold on.
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