Talks With Myself
As I get older and have been trying to focus more on why some things in my life are how they are or were. I started to realize I had to have critical conversations with myself. Knowing now that the opinion of me that matters the most to me is what I think about myself.
I used to allow what others thought about me or what others thought I should do or how I should be, matter more then my own beliefs. Now I see the beauty in talks with myself. I used to run to a friend for advice even when I knew how to handle a situation myself or what I wanted to do (even if it was wrong), I still had a voice. I still am responsible for my choices and actions. Somehow talking to people was validation I needed to know how to feel about a situation and at times how I felt about myself.
I’ve made plenty a poor choice by caring more about others than I did myself. I valued others opinion more at times than relying on the lesson I needed to learn or the outcome that would be best for me. Living that way caused so much of my heartache. It didn’t stop me from making poor choices or going through what I was going through. I lived more for what others thought I should do, how others thought I should react and what others thought I was supposed to feel.
Now I sit myself down and straight talk myself. When I talk about my pains, I challenge myself to live past dwelling in the pain and living beyond it. I know that living in the pain is getting me no where. I am trying to grow. Pain can’t hold me.
I challenge myself to make better choices and remind myself that I come first. When I make mistakes I no longer “woe is me” but I check myself. Touching a fire will get you burned and that is not a pleasant feeling. Not wanting to continue to have unpleasant feelings; I have to ask myself if I want to keep living insanely or be better.
Do I want to keep experiencing the same let downs; the same hurt the same lessons, or am I really ready to look at me even the ugly parts and challenge myself to be better. I am responsible for my choices. I am trying to grow. My poor choices don’t define me.
While I am proud to have good people in my life, I realize I have to know what’s best for me over anyone else. I have to be real with myself. I am trying to grow. My voice matters.
Challenge begins with acknowledgment that you want to be different. Saying no to some things helps. Quieting out the noise is imperative. Being transparent with yourself is freeing. Accepting where you need to change is growth.
Take time to question yourself, get to know who you are continually; we are constantly evolving. Look at some of the choices you’ve made and decide to want better. What do you really want? What are you willing to risk? What are you willing to exit from your life?
Take time out to have talks with yourself. It is critical in self care. My talks with myself are my “securing my own oxygen mask first” times. When on a plane we are told to secure own oxygen mask first before we can help others. As I continue on my path to grow, I’m securing my oxygen mask first, taking care of me first, and living to learn and grow another day.
I am growing and it feels good.
Comments
Post a Comment